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988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Call or text 24/7, free and confidential Text HOME to 741741 Crisis Text Line — Connect with a trained counselor via text Crisis Chat Online chat with crisis counselors — available 24/7A college admissions essay, November 3, 2015
I was a young girl in catholic school who was very involved in activities. I played basketball and was in girl scouts for a few years. I was a social butterfly, everyone was my friend. My grades were good, I thought life was good.
Suddenly, fifth grade hit me. Many people who I thought were my friends started making up horrible lies about me. Everyday was a new rumor and just a little more pain. As days went on these problems became progressively worse. I sat alone in my classes, ate lunch and played alone at recess. Soon enough it followed me home on social media, text messaging and phone calls. I couldn't escape it, everywhere I went the rumors would follow me. After a few months of this pain I became very depressed and had bad anxiety. I became a danger to myself.
Unfortunately, this period of my life lasted longer than I would have liked it to. For approximately, a year and a half, I lost focus in school. I started spending time with the wrong crowd and making bad decisions. Also, at this time, which ultimately caused my parents to go through a divorce. My life was spiraling out of control and I falling deeper and deeper into a black hole without any way out.
I don't really remember the exact moment it happened, but one day something inside me said enough is enough. Soon after that, I started seeing a therapist and confiding in my mother more. I was diagnosed with depression and mood adjustment disorder. With extensive amounts of therapy and switching schools, I became myself again. I started writing and wrote an article on Corporal Punishment in Public Schools that was published in the Yonkers Board of Education School newspaper. I tried out for the high school basketball team and was very excited to have had the opportunity to play sports again while making new friends. I developed great friendships and good relationships with my teachers and guidance counselor. I realized that not only do I really care about myself and want more for me but, there are also people that really care for me that I can rely on to help me achieve a better me.
I still have anxiety. I have learned that throughout life, you will be faced with many obstacles but if you believe in yourself and all that you are capable of, there is nothing you can't handle. Self confidence, a great support team and being in control of my own destiny, has given me the tools to be a better student, friend and person to move into my future with strength.
Words from Autumn
Looking at the time is never just checking what time it is, it's the time you were born, the last time I talked to you and the time you took your last breath, time is you Ty, it's always you…
Watching the snow fall isn't just a snow storm, it's our last walk to Cross County cause the roads were bad but we wanted an adventure, the last picture of you and your brother playing outside in the snow, the last sick day we both had together while it was snowing, eating soup, drinking hot chocolate watching Nyla play…each snowflake unique and beautiful in its own way, just like you Ty, always you…
Listening to the rain is never just another storm or shower, it's you asking "Mom, can we please go in the pool while it's raining" and me telling you "as long as it's not thundering and lightening go ahead Ty", every rain drop I hear now is you Ty, they're always you…
Seasons don't just change from hot to cold anymore, and Fall isn't just our favorite Uggs/hoodie time of year, it's watching you at 20 months old staring out the window, as you wait for Omi and Pop to pull up on the motorcycle to see you and Denzel. You point at all the Fall colored leaves as I tell you "red, yellow, orange" and you repeat them back to me in your tiny lil voice. Then, you hear the motorcycle and jump up and down knowing they're near! Pop looks at the window and yells "I see you Cue" (his nickname for you until you grew all that beautiful blonde curly hair). You see Ty, the Seasons are you, always you…
Vacations were sitting on a balcony, sipping coffee thinking how am I so blessed to have these two perfect human beings splashing in the pool or riding a boogie board in the ocean. Digging in the sand and hoping to maybe see a dolphin. All the lights on the boardwalk or the castles in Disney, the rides, games and junk food. Vacations are different now, but every time I walk along the beach and gaze at the ocean, I still see you Ty, in the sunrise and the sun set, the beauty of it is you, always you…
I am blessed to have the beautiful memories I have with you and to be surrounded by so much love to this day. I treasure, so deeply, every new moment I am given. I am thankful for the time I have, the snow and the rain that I love to watch fall from the sky, the seasons as they change, adventures/vacations, new music and every holiday/ special occasion we celebrate. I am grateful for all of it and everything else in between. But one thing remains, every single second of every single day Ty, through all of this and I mean through it all, there you are on my mind, in my heart, and in my soul, it's you Ty...always you...
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From grief to purpose — how Tyler's light continues to shine
Autumn has never been the same since losing Tyler. Since 2018, she has been searching for a way to honor her daughter's memory — to make sure Tyler's story mattered, that it reached someone who needed to hear it.
Raising money. Participating in walks. Building teams. Autumn threw herself into every cause, every event, every opportunity to keep Tyler's name alive. But something was always missing.
She put together teams, organized groups, showed up year after year. The community was there, the support was real — but it still didn't feel like enough.
Through a simple talk with her sister, something shifted. What if Tyler's story could reach further? What if her words — her truth — could find the person sitting alone in the dark, feeling like no one understands?
This website is just the beginning. A digital space where Tyler's voice lives on. Where her essay from 2015 — written when she was fighting her own battles — can reach someone fighting theirs today.
"It didn't feel like enough... until now."
— Autumn
This is just the start.